This is an e-mail Kevin sent me on Friday:
"From me to you!!
Have a great day!! PLEASE PLEASE DO YOUR BIT
Today is National Mental Health Day. You can do your bit by remembering to send an e-mail to at least one unstable person. Well, my job's done! "
Offensive I know, but he's right. I've been crying all weekend because I have to return to work on Monday. I really think this will be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Thanks to good o'le ACU I've got student loans coming out my ears, so we've no other choice. This is my first mom test to be able to leave my baby with someone else but me. The good news is, Nora will be staying with a friend who lives less than a mile from my work and I'll even get to see her at lunch. The bad news is, rather than being with my baby all day, I now have to deal with "my best friend isn't talking to me anymore". Not that I don't love being a junior high counselor, I LOVE working out those "problems" but this time I've got problems all my own. Even though Kevin hates when I ask for people to comment on our blog, I am really needing some affirmation here...Some "you can do it's" or some "go getem's". I don't even care if I know you or not..
On a positive note, Nora slept through the night last night for the first time! Yea, Nora. Let's hope this continues...
6 comments:
I can TOTALLY relate. I went back to school when Hollyn was 10 days old. Now even though it wasn't everyday, it was a lot and it was hard. All I can say is this...don't beat yourself up about it (I did). Your kids will not be scarred for life (I thought mine would be) and they will not think that you don't love them (I thought this). In fact when their almost 4, you will look forward to going to work for the much needed break (I do). You will always be her mommy, no matter what. It's also good that she is so close to you. Visiting her during the day will make the day go much faster. Also, have your friend write down little things that she did that day. Like if they went on a walk or she was extra "chatty." I thought these things would make me feel bad for not being there but really they helped me out. Chelsea used to do that for me when she watched Hollyn. Anyway, I will pray for you. Good luck tomorrow.
You know that the Lord is seeing you through every step. Nora is His child and He has blessed you with the honor of raising her. He wants what is best for her...even more than you do (if that is even conceiveable). While walking in His ways and listening to Him, the plans will fall into place.
Nora is in good hands and she can feel that she is dearly loved. I know it must stink to think about being away from her for a few hours of the day and I am sure it will be difficult in some ways. I will be praying that you can feel peace about the situation and even find blessings in it all. And I hope you can find many others who are going through the same emotions that will encourage you.
I know you are a great mom. I know you love Nora as much as anyone can love another person. This is a short season in life and it will not destroy either one of you.
And what a blessing to have a friend that you trust watching your daughter. The Lord has provided that resource for you and He will continue to provide.
Call at any time!!! I love you and I will be praying for you everyday at 2:00. Feel the power, baby!
Ang--I am TOTALLY with you! I pouted like nobody's business the Sunday night before I had to go to work. I barely spoke a word to Murray that night. It was HORRIBLE! I bawled my eyes out Monday morning on the way to work. Collected myself and immediately burst into tears once I actually walked into my school (in front of my new supervisor!). I know how hard this is and I hate that you have to go through it too. I wish I had Oprah's money because I would send you a big chunk of it so your loans would be paid off, Nora's college would be paid for, and a little extra for a special Mommy & Daughter day at the local spa.
My prayers are with you tonight and tomorrow. Call if you need anything!!
I am not as gracious as Sara and told my friend (Faith's part time babysitter) and Murray (he keeps her one of the days I work) that they couldn't tell me anything "special" Faith did that day unless it's something I've already witnessed (like when she rolls over, etc.). I can't fathom not being there to witness it and would really feel jealous if someone else got to see it first. I am blessed that my returning to work is temporary and I will pray for yours to be temporary too!!
Love you!
Jaime
Ang, I think there are so many of us who feel your pain and can remember those feelings of having to leave our precious baby with someone else, when we wanted nothing more than to be home! For me, it was only for a few months as the school year ended, but it was SO hard. I remember actually having a complete breakdown one night with Mark because I thought she didn't know I was her mom...and I was serious.(What?!) I now see how silly it was, because, as Candice said, she KNOWS you love her more than anyone else could, and no matter who is changing her diapers or giving her bottles during those hours, you are still her MOMMY...and that goes so much deeper than daily caretaking!!
I will be praying for you tomorrow, as you experience the first day away. I hope and pray that God gives you the peace you need to know that sweet Nora is in good hands and that you will be blessed for doing the work you are doing for so many kids who need you! (And, by the way, I also agree with Sara, that someday you'll be wishing for a little adult time away!!)
I love you and "you can do it" and "go get em"!
I know how hard this is because I went through it. I 'm not sure you want your mom's advice but I promise you'll get through it AND be stronger for it. I wish I could help. I love you--and her! Mom
Angie - I prayed for you this morning. Your experience with Nora will be completely unique. You may not be with her every minute, but your schedule will allow you to be with her A LOT. And she'll always know that she can do ANYTHING because her strong and beautiful mom worked so hard to take care of her family. You'll also retain your skills and keep your mind strong--and that's a beautiful thing. Nora is blessed to have you and Kev. LOVE YOU!
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